This page is written by Marianne Looby, Grahame’s younger sister. (the innocent one)
I’d like to have a page dedicated to Jay, to show everyone how much he is missed and how he has left two beautiful little boys in this world.
About Jay.
Jay was a healthy, fit, young man. He had a huge passion for cars, if he wasn’t underneath one, he was talking about one! He enjoyed going out with his friends to car meets and spending time with his boys. Often, he needed coaxing to get out of bed, (who doesn’t?!) but when he did, he’d drive us all somewhere fun and we’d make a day of it. The time we spent together as a family felt so special and it is a huge huge loss without him. Jay would often come home with little presents for the boys, cars ofcourse! Jamie loved jumping on
daddy and Jay adored Max.
Jay was very good with helping Max with his physiotherapy. He was far better than me at that! (and he knew it too) I always thought I was being mean as Max really hated work of any kind, but Jay would encourage Max to use his muscles and he was always so proud when he hit another milestone.
Jamie was diagnosed with autism earlier this year. He is three years old and misses his daddy so much. He often asks if we can go and see him, but I tell him that he is in the stars and that we can’t visit him but that he loves him so much.
Max is nearly 18 months old. He had a brain haemorrhage after his birth that went undetected for four months. This caused a lot of fluid to build up inside his brain, (hydrocephalus) and he had four lots of brain surgery to drain it all away, treat a very nasty infection and insert a shunt. Max is now dependant on this shunt to drain all the extra fluid away, he will require it for the rest of his life. All of the physical aspects of his condition, along with the time spent in hospital, means he is very physically behind. He is currently around 7 months developmentally, but as bright as a button!
Both boys benefit from the Phoenix centre. Jamie attends the preschool whereas Max attends through portage, a sort of home teaching scheme. He is too young for the preschool.
Jay was very impressed with the preschool. He took Jamie in for his initiation day and he couldn’t stop telling me how fantastic they were with the children. Some of the children have very complex needs and the staff there are so accommodating to them all.
Jay had a lot planned for the future. He hoped to take us all on holiday to Jersey this year as he loved it when he went in October. He planned on finishing modifying his car, and ofcourse, getting rid of the family car as soon as I passed my driving test! He loved his boys with all his heart and I know he is extremely proud of them. I will tell them every day how much they are loved and that daddy would give anything to be with them.
Jay died on the 18th December 2010 very suddenly. He had had an accident at home and it left us all devastated. He is so sorely missed by us all. All I can do is try to keep his memory alive. What better way than to help young children just like our own?
